SERIES 1 EPISODE 1
EPISODE DESCRIPTION:
“Stan is scheduled
onto a new early morning service, then the bus company goes on strike.”
BROADCAST DATE:
THIS IS IT:
The first ever episode
of On The Buses. What a treat, what a delight. It was black and white as too were the times. It begins with the sight of a sausage being
lovingly fried and Stan Butler (Reg Varney) stepping into
the kitchen saying “morning mum” to his mother played here by Cicely Courtneidge. With this he continues saying “cor these new
schedules are murder” as he complains about having to get up early. As he flicks on the radio he complains “not
even Tony Blackburn
is up” before looking for his shoes which it turns out his mum put in the oven
overnight to keep warm. Hilarity ensues
as he puts said shoes on and burns his feet.
At this point she notices a hole in the sole of his shoe which is down
to his pressing of the break pad which prompts a general review of his
wellbeing and how rough he looks. As Stan
is being poured a cup of tea Arthur (Michael Robbins) steps
down complaining about being woken by the noise and that he and Olive (Anna Karen) have been up
since 5AM . With
this Arthur joins Stan for breakfast while mum makes Stan his packed
lunch. When asked why he isn’t using the
canteen facilities it turns out that because of the early shift he isn’t
getting back in time. At this point
Arthur states that Stan’s union should have had a vote to prevent such an
occurrence to which he responds “they did, they agreed” prompting the response
“I suppose you was too frightened to stand up at the meeting and say anything”
to which Stan defensively replies “oh no I wasn’t, I wasn’t there, it was my
bingo night” as it turns out that there were more union members at the bingo
hall than the meeting. Disgusted Arthur
begins ranting how for twelve years he has been treasurer of the Railway Union
and how “every member comes to every meeting” as Stan snaps back “with you as
treasurer, I’m not surprised”. At this
point Stan’s mum interrupts with his lunch (the last three sausages) much to
the chagrin of Arthur. Ungrateful Stan
says that he doesn’t like “cold bangers” to which his mum says they won’t be
cold as she puts them in his thermos flask.
It then transpires that she has also used the last of the bacon on
Stan’s lunch as Arthur comments “that’s no good for a working man” as Stan
scoffs “working man? A booking clerk at Crossley
Junction? Three trains a day, two of
them cancelled. The amount of work you
get through you could survive on a cream cracker”. Arthur then resigns himself to Corn Flakes but the milk
has also run out having been used for the cat Rusty’s breakfast. With this Olive steps into the room coughing
heavily as everyone complains about her.
Soon Stan is also coughing as his mum fusses first asking if he is
wearing his vest and then grabbing the bottle of cough syrup (Creosote) from
Olive to give to Stan. On the verge of
being late
Stan picks up his lunch with two flasks a she borrows his sister’s bike. The scene closes with Olive lighting a fag
still coughing and spluttering as Arthur and mum pull classic sitcom
faces. From here we cut to an exterior
shot of Stan riding the bike in the dark and pulling into Luxton
District bus depot where Jack Harper (Bob Grant) is stood
waiting for him to arrive (“you’ve decided to come, have ya?”). At this point Stan has a strange exchange
with a black guy saying “here comes our new clippie”. Then as Stan continues to complain about the
schedule Jack says “here watch out, here comes the Gestapo” as Inspector Blake (Stephen Lewis)
makes his first appearance in the show.
And it’s a good one as he orders Stan not to take his lunch into the
drivers cab (“it could cause a nasty accident”). With this he ups his enquiry asking
(trusting) they have studied the new schedule before saying “drive away” and
slamming the cab door on Stan. At this
point Stan asks Jack “where we going?”
After watching the bus pull away the episode cuts to daylight and the
end of the shift as the bus pulls into the depot at 11.50AM with Blakey waiting upon arrival. Once parked up he immediately pounces on Stan
saying “where the ‘ell do you think you’ve been, eh? You were due back at 11.33AM , you’re seventeen minutes late”. As Jack hands Stan his packed lunch Blakey
reminds the pair “you do know that you’re due out at 11.59AM , don’t ya?” causing Stan to complain that the
canteen doesn’t open until midday . Blakey
being evil offers him the option of sitting on the “bench provided”. Refusing to eat his lunch in “this drafty
shed” he returns into his “cosy warm cab” to eat lunch. While attempting to get his sausages out of
his flask (“I can’t get me sausages out”) he continues to complain about being
cold as Jack suggests he switches on the engine for warmth while lighting up a
fag stood next to the bus.
Unsurprisingly this prompts Blakey to investigate as he tells Stan to
switch off the engine prompting a tug of war between Blakey and Jack in telling
him what to do (“get down”, “get in”).
Jack concludes that it is a “matter of principle” before threatening to
phone the union office over Stan eating dinner in his bus cab. With this Stan says “don’t bring the union
into this, they’re useless” as they decide to settle it between themselves. In the end Blakey is reduced to going to see
the General Manager before Jack, acting as shop steward, orders Stan to also
get out the cab. The episode cuts to
Jack holding court with other drivers stating that Stan has been intimidated by
an inspector over his lunch arrangements prompting the demand of “no canteen,
no buses” as everyone except Stan votes on a strike who has his arm twisted in
favour at which point he says “can I have my lunch now?” biting down on a
sausage. End of Part One.
The episode resumes
with a rainy exterior of Luxton District depot and a sign saying “Strike. No Buses” before returning to the Butler 5.30AM in the
morning. With this we cut to them with
the black guy on the picket line as Stan’s mum turns up with tea and buns in
addition to some cherry linctus in case his cold “goes down to his chest”. At this point some blokes with a TV camera
coming across the street as the presenter introduces himself as being from the
TV News and they would like “a few shots for tonight’s programme”. Excited about the recognition the three of
them agree as Stan’s mum points out that they will need some makeup for the TV
before producing some lipstick for Stan making her look a fool. At this point they hear a bus engine roar as
the inspectors bring a bus out the back entrance to the chants of “scab” from
the strikers. With this they attempt to
persuade Stan to lay in the road to prevent the bus doing its route. And it works as Blakey stops the bus just
short of rolling over Stan as his mum catches up and tells Blakey off for
endangering her son. Excited by the
action the TV crew comes running for some footage as a large red mark is
noticed on Stan’s coat which is believed to be blood. Asked if he is all right, Stan responds
confused before realising that it is the cough syrup. Despite this he continues to play up the
“injury” for the camera. From here we
cut to the evening and back home where Stan, Arthur and Olive watching the
evening news. Arthur is dismissive of
the story even being shown but then it is broadcast as the lead story of the
regional section. Stan’s initial reaction
is a bad one as upon seeing himself he comments: “something’s gone wrong, my
face looks all fat” to which Arthur snaps “that’s because your face is all
fat”. In the middle of his interview on
the ground in front of the bus, Stan’s mum pops up surprised to be in
frame. And then that is it, the story is
done with Arthur commenting what a berk Stan was made to look. Still scoffing Arthur says that management
will definitely not back down now having seen that to which Stan bites back “at
least I’ve been on the telly” to which he responds “so have The Munsters”. At the end of the news programme a newsflash
occurs as it is announced that management have agreed to demands to “avoid
further bloodshed”. Celebrating his
victory Stan announces that he feels he can tackle anything at which point his
mum cheekily hands him her dishcloth and says “tackle the washing up”. With that we cut to the next day and outside
Luxton District depot and then inside where Stan, Jack and the black guy
continue to celebrate their victory (“now we know how to get what we want,
don’t we”) as they bump into Blakey who informs them they’re due out in two
minutes as Stan tells him “hold your hair on, we’re the bosses now”. Responding to the comment Blakey says “in
that case you better send out for your smoked salmon and caviar for lunches
then” as he points towards the canteen where stood outside are two ladies
holding signs saying: “Canteen Strike.
Extra Money For Extra Hours”.
“Blimey the canteen have gone on strike now, that’s a dead liberty that
is”. With resignation Stan states that
there nothing they can do about it but Jack snaps back “oh can’t we… Not one bus leaves this depot until we get
our grub”. Curious, Stan asks “how are
we going to do that then?” as Jack and the black guy grab him and say “lie down
in front of the bus”. Cue applause, the
theme music and the closing credits. Job
done.
IS IT ANY GOOD:
This is a textbook
tale of an old school worker versus management dispute.
WHAT IT MEANS:
The unions were strong
in the late sixties; that black people were members and Jack was a socialist.
WHAT IT TAUGHT ME:
In the sixties it was
easier to call a strike now.
EXTERNAL REFERENCES:
Early on DJs Tony
Blackburn and Jimmy
Young are mentioned. Later Arthur
references The Munsters.
UNPOLITICALLY CORRECT
GOLD:
Surprisingly little
just generally the manner with which Jack regularly lights up and smokes in the
depot.
BEST LINES:
“Watch it watch it,
you’ll spill me sausages”. “I can’t get
me sausages out”.
BEST JOKES:
The tug of war between
Jack and Blakey over whether Stan should stay in his bus cab and eat his
lunch. Then after Jack wins he pulls the
old switcheroo on Stan and expresses the same request as Blakey all the long.
PERIPHERAL MOMENT:
The Butler
REALITY CROSSOVER:
None other than having
to deal with public transport strikes by train and tube drivers in the past.
MVP:
For being a general
troublemaker, Jack wins this day.
GUEST APPEARANCES:
Not so much a guest
appearance but the unnamed black guy is actually the fantastic Rudolph Walker that
later appeared in Love
Thy Neighbour and Eastenders.
EPISODE LINKS:
This was the first
episode so obviously none.
PERCULIARITIES:
Mum is played by
Cicely Courtneidge instead of Doris
Hare. Early on see fluffs a line
calling Stan “Sam”. The character of
Blakey is far from developed as he poses something of a stern presence in what
is quite a straight role.
CHAPTERS:
1. Stan’s Lunch
2. A Matter Of
Principle
3. On A Strike
4. Picket Duty
5. On The Telly
OTHER:
From the off the show
establishes itself as a compact little sitcom.
FINAL WORDS:
These are sweet and
sedate beginnings.
